So I just got off the phone with my best friend Annie who I haven't seen since graduation in May :(, but it has really gotten me to think about what makes a good friend and heres what I have so far.
1. They will always eat with you even when they are in no way hungry (ussually some sort of fried food dipped in EXCESSIVE amounts of Ranch so that you actually have no idea what you are consuming).
2. They understand your special language that is not even a language, but just making strange sounds at one another.
3. They don't think your weird when you refer to the hair that sticks up on your head by name (Shamus), and when that hair writes poems and recites them in its special voice.
4. They share custody and watch over your drunk duck child named Kathleen that has turned to drinking to deal with its transgender issues.
5. They have fun playing games with you that involve throwing everything you can find in their apt. on the ground angrily.
6. They don't get mad at you for being extremely gassy, and they think the words "poo" and "anal leakage" are awesome and not used in everyday language nearly enough.
7. They understand that a great day usually involves waking up still drunk and ordering pizza for breakfast, then maybe some Chins or extremely expensive Whole Foods for lunch (which you have to buy so you don't feel bad for constantly going in and just eating all of the samples), and then maybe some endless fries from Red Robin for dinner, which is obviously paired with a salad because you don't want to ruin your awesome diet... o yea and how could I forget dessert, which is either a pint of Ben & Jerrys or a 30 min trip to West Town Mall just to get some TCBY (Always sooooo worth it).
8. They understand that everything from #7 is best if you can get it delivered and you don't need to be seen in public because you are obviously unshowered with makeup still smeared all over your face from the night before.
9. And again they understand that #7 and #8 are also best when combined with watching a whole season of something on OnDemand (Californication, Dexter season 1 or 2, Tell Me You Love Me, etc. )
10. They pee in guy's beds while wasted, and then when they wake up they don't know they did it, but once they find out they do they call you immediately while the guy (who they just met the night b4) is listening to them talk to you. Also, they don't leave embarassed from the guys house the next morning, and instead they stay around and hang out as they are covered in their own pee.
11. They share your sick (i.e. absolutely AMAZING) dance moves, and come up with some of the best moves out there (Love Swans!?!??)
12. They always dance with you in the car (even when you get stuck on a median because you can't see out of the windshield and are begging them to help you out).
13. They aren't scared by you when you drunkenly threaten to hurt them or to rape other people.
14. They walk behind you on the way home to make sure you safely make it through the creepy alley you live in, even after you scream at them and tell them to leave you alone, tackle them multiple times, almost get them killed by continually running into oncoming traffic, and force them to leave the bar early because your are harassing people in the bar by hitting them with the one shoe that you still have.
15. and Finally, they are just so cool that they will hang out with you NO MATTER what else they have going on. School, work, working out, it doesn't matter....they always hang out with you because it is way more fun than doing anything else.
There are about a million more things that make a good friend, but I don't need to list the rest of them because there is only one girl who fits them all......ANNIE!
p.s. Annie you poo face, move to San Diego now!! Without my other half , things are not nearly as fun :(
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