When you say Wisconsin....You say it all

Today I did another thing that I have never done before (or atleast have never done soberly)....I went to a bar to drink by myself. Although this may worry some of you, I didn't actually go to drink by myself, I went to try and meet WI people so I think it was ok. As some of you know I have been working at a bar in Pacific Beach lately and it has been going really well, except for one big problem...the bar is a University of Michigan bar. This means that on saturday game days, the bar is crowded with Michigan fans who do not appreciate the fact that I wear a WI football jersey and brag about how much better WI is than Michigan. So, after working the past few saturdays and having to deal with annoying Michigan fans, I decided I needed to go find my people. Since I have very limited friends out here and none of them want to go watch a WI football game with me, I left work today and walked the block down to the ocean boardwalk where PB Shore Club is located (the WI bar) and decided to go in by myself. Unfortunately the bar was already at capacity at 5pm (because badger fans are so dedicated and awesome) that I had to wait outside in line for 15 mins by myself as the annoying girls behind me complained to the bouncer about the line. However, the bouncer responded to the girls by saying "you may be waiting for awhile, WI fans are die hard and I don't think any of them are going to leve until the game is over", which definitely made me realize I was about to feel at home once I entered the bar. So, finally I got let in and made my way upstairs to look for a spot to sit, get a beer and watch the game. My plan was to just sit at the bar, get a beer, and play it cool, as I scoped out the scene and prayed that people would talk to me. But once I saw all the people inside I realized that there was no way I was going to find a spot to casually sit by myself. The place was super crowded and there were no spots anywhere, you could barely find a place to stand. So, as I was about to call it a day and give up on my efforts, I saw a spot on a bench over by the window and made my move. I asked the guys sitting on each side of teh open spot if anyone was sitting there, and when they said no I asked them to watch the spot as I got myself a beer. I went and got a Leinekugels Sunset Wheat, which you definitely can't find at ANY other bar in San Diego, on special for $2 (AMAZING!). Then I went and sat down, and since I didnt want to seem like a loner by myself I pretended to be texting someone on my phone so it made it seem like I was waiting for someone. I started talking to one of the guys next to me and asked him if he was a WISCO fan. We started chatting and he told me that he was originally from New York, but then moved to Chicago for 4 years, where he met tons of Badger fans and obviously started to love Wisconsin, and then just moved out here about 2 months ago like me. We chatted over some beers for awhile because we had a lot in common and then the other guy joined in our convo too because he also used to live in Chicago. Before I knew it I was not a loner and actually was having a good time. Then, I went to the bathroom and of course ran into many drunk Badger fans on the way. One of the girls in the bathroom told me that she loved my jersey so much that she wanted to buy me a shot, so we went to the bar and took a jaeger bomb (SO HAPPY) and she introduced me to some of her friends, which Im pretty sure were extremely blacked out so I honestly felt like I was right back in WI. Finally the most amazing part of the night happened....JUMP AROUND!!! Only Wisconsin fans would understand how great this was, but just like it is at all the football games, everyone in the bar started jumping up and down and falling into each other. I think I made more friends during jump around than I have made since I have been out here. Everyone was just falling everywhere and 2 guys fell into me and offered to buy me shots, another guy drunkenly started hugging me and telling me he loved me, and another group of 3 guys linked their arms around me and trapped me in the middle. I ended up leaving the bar with 3 guys numbers and much much drunker than I was planning on getting.

Tonight was for sure one of the best nights I have had since Ihave been out here. Its strange that while I was in Madison I just wanted to get out and get away from the Madison scene, but now that I have, all I want is to go back. Today just reminded me of how much I miss the pure drunkenness of Madison and all the wasted nad hilarous people you meet there. Although probably all of the people I met tonight won't remember me in the morning, I still like all of them more than the strange Californian people. I never thought I would say this, but I miss all the alcoholic, immature, and completely ridiculous people from Madison. I guess I never really knew how good we had it there. There is definitely no other school around where you can go to a bar in a state on the other side of the country and still have EVERYONE in the bar act just like they would if they were back in Madison.....I love it, and I now really miss Madison!!

Dealbreakers

O Deal breakers, we all have them, and lately I have been noticing mine a lot more than usual. In case you are unaware of what a deal breaker is let me explain. Although according to one of Urban Dictionary's definitions a deal breaker is "the act of firmly yet romantically cramming your entire fist into your signifigant other's cornhole." (i.e. Nick gave Cindy a Deal Breaker in his Beretta, and she liked it.), this is not the definition that I am referring to. Actually that def'n is a good example of what a deal breaker could be, but here is a better definition. A deal breaker is something about someone that is so bad that is overrides any other good qualities that they may possess. If you still don't understand then maybe these examples of my deal breakers will help to make it clearer.

1. Jean shorts. These are only allowed if your name is Ron, you are over 50, and you are a math teacher.

2. Black tennis shoes with shorts (esp. when paired with jean shorts and socks higher than the ankle...I ran into one of these the other weekend and it was not a pretty sight)

3. "Babe" users. Please never refer to me as "babe", and while we are at it I prefer not to ever be called honey, sweetie, baby, and any other name to that effect. Acceptable names are Kretsch, Krotch, hey you, bitch, ho bag, slut, whore, etc. Unacceptable names are Babe, baby, honey, sweetie, etc. Got it...ok good.

4. Closeted "babe" users. The only thing worse than calling me babe all the time would be to hide your use of the word "babe" because you know I dislike it and then when I finally start to like you, you get comfortable enough to let the "babe" using come out. This is not only completely unacceptable, but it is absolute grounds for breaking up and never speaking to one another again.

5. Muscle tees. First of all if you do not have a good body I don't know why you would even consider wearing a muscle tee. I had a group of guys come into Applebee's the other day, all in muscle tees (yes there were 4 of them) and order the all you can eat riblets. After bringing each of them about 7 refills of riblets each I asked if they were full yet and one of them rubbed his belly (that was visible through the large slits in his muscle tee) and said "this big daddy's buff bod has had enough protein to last him for days" (this will lead into my next post, but this shows the type of people who wear muscle tees and why it is not acceptable). Also, in the odd case that you do have a good body and are wearing a muscle tee, I think this may be even more unacceptable. If you are one of those people that is trying to show off your bulging biceps by wearing a muscle tee then you not only care way to much about what you look like, but by common occurance you are probably also overly taned and have gelled and spiked hair...all of which add up to one massive dealbreaker (if you need a visual think Joey from the Hollywood Real World...nut case and all together deal breaker).

6. People who refer to themselves as big daddy, big pappa, or anything to that effect.

7. Frosted tips....enough said.

That is all I have for now, but I am getting tired and having trouble thinking of more, so there will be more to come. There are the obvious deal breakers, like taking rape too seriosuly, but those will be explained in more detail in another post. For now I think this is a good list for general deal breakers.

Will I ever learn?!?! (Probably not)

So right now I am sitting outside at a coffee shop and attempting to apply for jobs online. However, I am finding that facebook, Perez Hilton, Myspace, and many other websites are just so much more interesting (go figure). Also, because I am so stupid with computers I don't have Word on my comp. so it makes it difficult to send my resume to people. So, I have to start writing all these emails, then save them as Drafts and go to an Internet Cafe to open and change my resume for each of them, and then send them. If only I hadnt destroyed my computer about a million times I would still have Word and this would be much easier, but that is definitely not the case. In case many of you don't know, Word only gives you a certain amount of licenses, and i have gone through all of mine because I have restored my computer and reinstalled Word on it so many times. Maybe if I just payed for Virus protection and stopped doing things that I know are gonna mess up my computer this wouldnt be a problem....Maybe if I just had an ounce of common sense, thats all I need. But lets be honest I havent had common sense like this for 23 years, I dont think I am randomly gonna find some now. I mean if I didnt know it was a bad idea to watch the KK sex tape on my computer when I didnt have virus protection, then there is basically no hope, because as Gina's last post said, they teach us this stuff on Blue's Clues. So I am admitting defeat. I am just never gonna be one of those put together, organized, really smart people...its just not in the cards for me. I am going to be forced to do this same coffee shop and Internet Cafe routine every day until I find a job, which is really awesome considering I have so much money to keep buying coffee drinks everyday. All right well I was gonna try to end this post with something good or somewhat of a decent conclusion, but I just drank a 24oz coffee and an iced chai drink and I can hardle sit still or think straight (and Im pretty sure my heart may explode soon) so I have to go!

WHOA

So, friends from back home prepare yourselves, I am basically a completely different person than I was back in MN or WI. I don't think any of you would even recognize me anymore. First, the cold turkey ranch (which actually didnt last, but me even trying to do it was a huge change), then the running, and now this. I don't even know if I should say it, but here goes....I finished a book!! I know, I know I sounds crazy, but its true. It may have taken me over 5 years to read an entire book (with the last one being Angels and Demons the summer between high school and college), but I actually did it. I started the book (Swapping Lives) back in June when I was monitoring the Lockdown promotion for Z104 because I was basically forced to. My two options were to sit in a corner and stare into space for hours or to read a book, and after a lot of consideration I decided I would try to start reading. Although one would think I would have finished the book in all of the hours I sat in the corner monitoring people, I actually just finished it earlier today (only about 4 months later). It wasnt a very long book or a very difficult read, but I am still proud of myself for finishing it. Well, actually towards the end of it I got really sick of it and started majorly skimming so I don't really know all the details of the end, but whatever, I'm still saying I finished it! So I am giving myself a pat on the back for that and friends prepare yourself because soon I will be a completely different Kretsch. Before you know it I will stop threatening to rape people, will watch the news and not trashy reality TV all day, and worst of all will start only social drinking (that would be weird). Whoa I'm starting to scare myself with all of these changes. Solution, must be back to my old self.....NO MORE READING!

Work Out

Ok so the weirdest thing just happened....I ran 7 miles!! I have never run that far in my life! I normally just do a 4 mile run where I run along the bay down to Pacific Beach and then I cross the st. and run back along the ocean. However, today I thought I would mix things up and just started running a different way along the bay. However, before I knew it I was too far away to just turn back so I decided to just keep running around the bay (not knowing that it was going to be 7 miles!). I finally hit the point in the bay that I normally run to before I turn around and head back to my place, meaning I still had about 2 miles left to get back to my place. I was pretty dead at this point cause I had already run longer than I normally do, so I wasn't sure I was goig to make it, but then something amazing happened...Lady Gaga stepped in and helped me out. In case you have not heard the song "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga you need to download it and add it to your workout mix. The minute I heard that song my second wind kicked in and I was ready to go. I got so pumped up that I even felt like throwing my arms up and dancing a little as I ran, but there were a lot of people around so I refrained. Well this is a pretty boring post, but I was just so excited that I didnt die and made it around the bay that I needed to talk about it. Also, as I was running I put together the perfect workout mix in my head. So, I thought I would help everyone out and tell you guys the best workout mix ever!! So, here goes....

American Boy by Estelle & Kanye (OBVIOUSLY...love it!)
Shut Up and Let Me Go by The Tings Tings
I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You by Black Kids
Paper Planes by M.I.A. (New favorite song and its really good for running cause when you hear the guns shot you kinda wanna punch your arms forward and it makes you run faster...ya Im weird)
Around the World/Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger remix by Daft Punk
Damaged by Danity Kane (I still love it despite hearing Daniel sing it on a regular basis)
Jump by Girls Aloud (I LOVE all my gay friends from London for introducing me to Girls Aloud....Joel, if you don't know Girls Aloud just think of the music we were dancing to at G.A.Y when you visited me in London and alot of it was Girls Aloud...Amazing!)
DVNO, The Party, or D.A.N.C.E by Justice (Joel and I may be the only 2 that like these songs haha)
Heard the World by OAR (not really a work out song but I really like it)
Corona and Lime by Schwayze
What you Know by T.I. (State Bar & Grill theme song...maybe the only reason I like it is because it brings up great memories from the he state, like when all teh customers were standing on tables dancing and screaming to the song, while one of the bartenders (who passed on in the bathroom about 5 mins later) danced on the bar as another sprayed her with water. All of the bartenders were out drinking and dancing, so me and the bouncers (yea there were none at teh doors) were making drinks and taking/giving them to people...I miss that place)

So there you go, theres my great workout mix. Some of its pretty stupid music but good for working out and thats all that matters.

Sweet ass and titties, Britney Spears, and Peepers????

So, guys out here in San Diego are much more forward then they are back in Madison. I have kind of been appreciating it, esp. all of the drinks they buy (I have been going out a decent amount and I never spend any money!!). However, some of it is just strange and uncalled for. First of all, I could really do without the catcalling. Has whistling at girls and yelling things at them ever worked out for guys?? Because if it has, I would like to speak to the girls that fell for it and tell them that they are ruining everything for the rest of us. The other day I was walking down the mainstreet in PB and I guy started yelling at me from the otherside of the busy street saying "Hey girl in the green shirt, you have a sweet ass and titties." He then kept asking me to cross the street and come hang out with him. He was being so loud and annoying that all the people stopped at the stoplight in their cars started starring at me too. I tried to ignore the situation, but apparently ignoring someone who is catcalling you doesn't get the point across that you are not interested, so finally I had to yell back "Im sorry this sweet ass and titties is busy and not interested." I thought this would have maybe gotten the point across....but obviously i dont understand the mind of a catcaller. I think this egged him on even more because then he started shouting "come on sexy lady, we can have a good time if you just cross the street." So, finally not knowing what to do and getting stressed from even more people started to stare at me, I turned down a side st. and made my escape.

Besides the catcalling, I have noticed that guys out here have many more lines that you can tell they use on every girl and also they compliment girls much more often. Now don't get me wrong, I think its very nice when a guy gives a geniune compliment, but when you can tell they have used that line on about a million other girls, or if you don't know if their compliment is actually good, then it really doesn't work for me. First situation: I was at the bar the other night and went to go get my first drink. When I got to the bar the guy right next to me turned and said "Wow, Britney Spears!" I then gave him a very strange look and just stared at him a little and said "excuse me?" He then went on to tell me that I looked just like Britney Spears, and then being very confused I asked "is that a good or bad thing", to which then he gave me a strange stare back. We both ackwardly stared at eachother for while and then I asked him if he had seen Britney Spears lately. He obviously does not read Perez Hilton everyday like me cause he did not understand that telling someone that they look like a crazed, drugged out lunatic who does not have real hair anymore is not necessarily a good thing. When I explained this to him he apologized and attempted to redeem himself, but I had already recieved my drink and was getting summoned for beer pong so I was outa there. So, sorry buddy, next time get your compliments straight.

Situation 2: I just got back to my apt from running errands and there are 2 strange men sitting in the living room. I know that they must be my roommate Josh's friends so I say hi and introduce myself to them. When I say hi and shake the first guys hand he doesn't tell me his name right away but just says "Wow you have great peepers." I was very caught off guard by this and I started thinking to myself what the hell is this guy talking about, what are peepers. Then I realized I was wearing a little black dress and did not have a bra on so immediately I thought this guy was making some comment on my boobs. I started again to stare at him somewhat strangely (possibly starting to look somewhat angry cause I thought this guy just met me and was already commenting on my boobs). He then realized I was very confused and explained that peepers meant eyes. However, now I was experiencing anger mixed with being embarrassed for thinking a guy was making a comment about my boobs when he was actually being nice, so I went off to the room, and the compliment was basically useless.

So moral of the story...If you are a guy, DO NOT catcall. I garauntee it will not work, and if it does, I don't think the girl that replies to it is anyone you should want to be with. Also, if you are going to give a girl a compliment make sure that it is a good one and that she will understand it. Otherwise your efforts will be lost on explaining yourself and the good impression that you were trying to give off will already be lost.

Copying Gina

Since Gina is such an amazing blogger, I often read her posts and wish i could write cool posts like her. However, hers always seem so smart and well thought out, and I feel like that would take a lot of work for me to do. So instead of trying to write witty posts like hers, I am jsut going to copy her idea from her last post (Because she is cool and because I am really bored haha). So, I am dedicating this post to you and your ideas Gina...Consider it called "raindrops on roses: the less cool version." So as I lay in bed and rethink the day, these are the things that make me smile...

1. Living next to the ocean with perfect weather everyday. This was one of the main reasons I moved out here to San Diego, but I didnt realize just how important it was in my life until I got here. I wake up everyday to a breeze from the ocean coming through my window and I look outside and it is sooo amazing. I no longer sleep til 2 in the afternoon (unless I am extremely hungover) because I don't want to miss out on the day. It is amazing and I wake up before 10am everyday even when I have nothing to do! I never cared about this back in the Midwest adn I would spend so many days locked up in my apt. the entire day or sleeping til the late hours of the afternoon. Here I can't stand it to stay in my place. Even if I have nothing to do I love just walking around outside, going for runs on the beach, and doing ANYTHING I can outside. It is a crazy cycle, but the weather makes me happy and want to be active outside, and being active and running makes me more happy and healthy, and all of a sudden I am this really happy healthy person...its strange, but very good.

2. Trashy reality TV shows. Although this basically goes against the last thing I wrote about hating to stay in my apt., I really love my trashy reality TV watching late at night. I can't fall asleep unless the TV is on and there is nothing better late at night than completely mindless reality TV that is on MTV, VH1, or BRAVO. The past few nights I have fallen asleep to I Love Money, Making the Band, Project Runway, Real Housewives of Orange County, and the most common show, Brooke Knows Best. These shows really makes me smile because they are entertaining and I can always know that I have more direction in my life than many of the crazy people on these shows.

3. Text Messaging. I don't atcually know what I would do without it. As many of my friends know it is my preferred method of communication because they can call me and I won't answer, but if they text me I will reply immediately. Even though I have been much better lately about calling people to keep in touch, I still love the ease of text messaging when you can just write something short to a friend to let them know you miss them or are thinking of them. In addition to this, text messaging is possibly the best thing ever when it comes to drinking. I am an avid drunk text messager and although I wake up most mornings and cringe when I read the things I wrote the night before, I am pretty used to embarassing myself so I don't really care and ussually my texts are so priceless that they are just way more entertaining than embarassing. I mean there is "Work it!Were heed! Get on the poo" or "I will pin you against the wall, rare you twica and leave you with those babies. How do you feel about that? special?" or there is my texting sent from Gina's phone to her friend as I pretended to be her saying "get here now, Katie wants on" or something to that effect (which I thought I sneakily deleted so she couldnt see, but a second after I handed her the phone back she found it!). And not only my texting, but I love that drunk text messages have become such a common occurance among all of my friends. I love all of the texts I randomly get from Mike at around 2am that are song lyrics such as "hey hey you you I don't like your girlfriend", or are comments about some type of food or ranch he had that was the most amazing thing ever. I also love the texts I get from Gina that are somewhat close to making sense, but really don't at all. I can always tell that she thinks she makes a ton of sense, but I never have any idea what she is talking about (i.e. last night and "I make sense! Bryce and Stevi are the main attraction! we didnt drive downtown bs it lets in water. As for guys why does mike struggle with girls AKA me"). All I know is that I would have a lot of trouble communicating my thoughts with people and that drinking wouldnt be nearly as fun without texting, and that is why it always makes me smile.

4. Finally, I know I am super cheesy, but my amazing friends from Madison always make me smile. I never thought I would make such great friends in college, but I finally decided to let a few of my friends in and now they are never gonna be able to get rid of me (haha you are all stuck with me!!) But when I look back on the amazing times that we all had second semester junior year and all of senior year, those times would have been nothing with my friends. I mean I love hanging out with all of my friends, but there are a certain few (and you know who you are) that I would have gona absolutely insane without. College wouldnt have been half as fun if I hadnt been friends with them, and all of our memories, which I cant stop thinking or writing about, will always make me smile :)

p.s. I miss you all and as much as the weather, trashy TV, text messaging, and memories that I have with everyone make me smile, not having you all here does not make me smile! Seatle and Minneapolis are not as cool as here, so you all need to get your asses here now and make me smile again!